My life is in ruins.

I cant do this anymore.
Ifeel like im standing still.
then ill accomplish something and ill begin to move, only to realize i am going in one large circle. no destination. just constantly going around and around.
sometimes standing still.
watching everyone ive spent a small portion of my life with building a career, expanding their knowledge. Doing something with their lives. Out to achieve great things. Become someone incredible. an Me. Im spinning in circles. Going no where fast.
What am i doing.
I try so hard to swim, but i feel as if i keep getting pulled beneath the waters. and Im at the point where i no longer feel the will or the strength to fight the weight thats forcing me farther and farther down.
I cannot do this anymore.

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I feel like i am drowning, and i have no energy to struggle.

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Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.

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Time to face the bull head on.

A few days ago i would be writing my heart out right now, about how depressed i am and how i feel so empty and have no will or desire to go on. and Yet i have no reason to feel that way. Everything in my life is perfect. Absolutely wonderful. I should have been happy. But for the past few weeks i have been mopping around, full of self hate and pity for myself.
Well i am done with the pity party. This is not who i am, and even if it means bottling my feelings inside and plastering a smile on my face until im alone, so be it. Because i am done dragging down the people around me and slowly burning my relationships to ash. It is time to rebuild the destruction i have created. Its time to start over. and this time, do it right.
I am happy.
I am loved.
The world is perfect.
It’s time i be the change i want to see in the world.
It’s time i fufill the reason i was put on this god forsaken earth.
No more tears, or sadness. Nothing but smiles.
I wont fake it, I will just see the brightside of every dark encounter.

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razorstotheskin:

there are days I just get so sad for no reason it’s such a struggle to get out of bed and act normal and talk to people I wish I was joking

(via vintage-nicotine)

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